Greater than I

This morning while reading through "A heart for God" by Sinclair Ferguson, I was struck by the story of Moses' encounter with the Living God through a burning bush. In however many moments the experience lasted, I saw a glimpse of what I believe every man is longing for - a divine encounter that bends one's identity and purpose back to a sure foundation - God Himself.

Gods' speaks to Moses; "Come, I will send you to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt."(Ex 3:10)  Moses was shocked, first by how God chose to show up and second because of what God was saying. I imagine Moses had flashbacks to his perceived failure in Egypt that led him to flee to Midian and the distance he must have felt from the Presence and Purpose of the living God.

Ferguson says, "He must have had moments - perhaps many of them - when he felt as though God passed him by...Far from enjoying the sense of God's presence, it is likely he was haunted by a sense of God's absence. His past was marred, his present was insignificant, and his future seemed relatively pointless, given all that God has invested in his life."

Then God shows up! God does the unthinkable in asking Moses to do something beyond his capacity. Moses waivers. God speaks into this inner turmoil and doubt, "He said, 'But I will be with you,'". Moses' inner frailty continues, "If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'what is his name?' what shall I say to them?"

God's response is a sure glimpse into every man's greatest need - An identity and a purpose that is far greater than any one man can fashion for themselves - an identity and purpose grounded in the "Great I am". "God said to Moses, 'I AM WHO I AM.' And he said, 'Say to the people of Israel, I am has send me to you.'"

"Every man dies, but not every man really lives." These words spoken by William Wallace in Braveheart, point to a significant truth when viewed in light of Moses' divine encounter. The men whose lives are lived to the fullest, are those who have discovered, explored, and remembered,  that their identity and their purpose is grounded in the person, character and purposes of the Living God. This man will be one whose life has influence both in the present and in the future.

A Journey

I sat down this morning to begin writing in my journal. I begin with a desire to articulate and create and then slowly came to the conclusion that I don't really know what to write about. A distracted mind led me to lay down the pen and to begin typing away.

Over the last year the Lord has continued to give clarity to my interest in the spiritual journey of a man. I've read books and spent many hours thinking about the uniqueness of the masculine experience while considering what a man's journey with the Lord looks like.

This blog will serve as an avenue of articulating this journey. I'm also considering writing a book on the process and experience of a man's journey with the Lord. Honestly the thought of writing a book strikes both excitement and a sense of weight as I consider the undertaking. The sheer amount of time and discipline it would take are enough to bring pause in considering.

With all the enthusiasm I have for this project I also know myself well enough to know the challenges of my short attention span and the challenge of follow through on the daily discipline of writing.

This morning I finished yet another inspiring "Outside" article on a man's journey ("Around the world in 1,026 days")  to circumnavigate the earth by foot, boat and bicycle, using only his own power. Articles like these surface my desire to do something significant! To create - to work - to build something significant.

I imagine the process of writing will not only create something that God could use to encourage men as they journey on with the Lord, but would well serve as a significant part of that process in my own life.

"Look at that, you can see his heart beating!"  The day was Tuesday January 8th - the setting was the doctor's office - the experience was seeing the first ultrasound of our 9 week old baby. 

Few words can express the wonder and the weight of that experience. A first time father, trying to digest the reality of a little human being carrying my DNA and living in the belly of my wife!

I have seen some breathtaking views of alpine peaks in Switzerland and the bold quiet falls in Yosemite, but no sight has ever stirred the feelings I felt gazing at that little mass of wonder within my wife.

I'm a father. Not I will be a father in August when the baby is born. I am a father! The thoughts of support raising, the days activities and responsibilities, not just faded but vaporized in light of that experience. The significance of life came clearly into focus and I felt a large shift in my identity that is hard to explain.

I no longer existed for the glory and enjoyment of God alone although that is my highest purpose, but I had come to acquire a new and significant identity as a father!

So begins the journey of fatherhood that is pressing me to consider the roots of masculinity found in the truth of the beginning of masculinity; "then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." (Genesis 2:7)