Awe and Wonder

How do you describe an event as full of awe and wonder as the birth of your first child? Wednesday night little Adeline Michelle Russo came bursting onto the scene of our lives around 11:04pm in the most amazing of ways!

This last Monday, three weeks before our original due date our doctor was concerned about our baby girls growth (IUGR) Intrauterine Growth Restriction. When she told us she wanted to induce I was thinking some time later in the week. Then the doctor said we needed to go on home to pack for our hospital visit that afternoon. A bit of shock and excitement filled us. We were overwhelmed that this was going to happen so soon.

We headed to the hospital bags packed  and hearts full of anticipation. Monday night passed quickly and Danielle began to receive Pitocin early Tuesday. By 5 that afternoon it became apparent it was not yet Addy's time. Another sleepless night and then wednesday morning the Pitocin began again. 

Danielle began labor that afternoon as small contractions grew into greater one's. At 10:30 pm after two days of waiting, the nurse said it was time for Danielle to begin pushing. Over the next 35 minutes I watched as Danielle worked. What unfolded was the most amazing thing I've seen with my eyes. Adeline was leaving the world of my wife's belly and entering ours! 

At 11:04 with a squeal and a deep breath of air, Adeline joined us! I gazed at her little body so frail and shaky. Watched her gulp down a big drink of air as her little lungs whirred to life. After some time with her momma I had the privilege of putting on her first diaper, picked her up in my arms, and experienced a glimpse of the "new life" of heaven right there in that hospital room.

My heart and mind burst with the significance and transcendence of that moment - the thin places where heaven touches earth. I was full of awe and wonder.  God's creative power! 

 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth." (Psalm 139:13-15)

On Turning 40!

Just 4 short weeks ago I came to a mile marker in life that can serve as the impetus for challenge and change or for disappointment and denial. Yes, I turned 40. The funny thing is I didn't ponder this striking reality the week of my birthday. Call it denial or busyness but while dodging trees and cutting corners today on a magnificent trail run, it hit me like a brick.

I was winding in and out of the crowded beauty of the forest, soaking in the cool breeze and the playful songs of the birds when I began to think about where I want to be headed in life. On the precipice of parenting and at a stage in life where I'm considering the second chapter of my vocational story, my mind felt clouded with options, questions, and unknowns.

So this is a mid-life crisis!!! Well, not really! I'm just in a place of wondering. Wondering about the coming year as a father, a husband, and a man who sincerely desires to lead others to know and enjoy the Lord! I find myself wondering about the trajectory of the next 4 to 5 years of my life. I think of personal and ministry goals and how I will continue to move forward with the Lord, trusting Him each day for daily bread and for His Kingdom to come.

As I write this I look out to see the setting sun washed sky. Beauty stretched out all around me. I'm reminded that God is real - God is Sovereign - God is active and involved in the here and now. And not just active as a transcendant deity far removed from human experience, but involved as a father in the lives of His children. This thought of God as Father is riveting! This truth gives me courage to consider the coming chapter of life and ministry. This truth motivates me to pray, seek, ask, and knock.

Rest Assured that even at the age of 40, or especially at the age of 40, I still have only to look to God as Father - as good - as Sovereign - and there I find peace!

Clean and Comfortable

"On belay", "Belay on", "Climbing", "Climb on". The challenge begins. Heart races - eyes focus - muscles tense as I reach for the first hold.  Here in the bold beauty of the Linville Gorge, begins our Quest Men's weekend with 3 friends from church. The first experiential learning activity is rock climbing.  My breathing slows as I reach, step, pull up, reach, step, pull up. A mixture of adrenaline, courage and fear wash through me as I ascend the rock face. I reach the top and turn to look back, overwhelmed by the vast depth and reach of the Gorge below - the unending sky of blue above.

That evening around a camp fire, nestled in the Gorge, enveloped by the sound of the river rushing by our campsite, we considered the question - "What do I want to happen for me this weekend?"Pondering the question, what came to me was, "I want to be uncomfortable". Articulated another way during our last conversation before hiking out on Sunday I shared a response to the question - "How have I been doing life?" My response - "I like life clean and comfortable".

My reticence in seeing my backpacking gear dirtied by rain and mud reveals my aversion to the "unclean" in life - the messy things - the disorder - what feels out of my control. The frustration that accompanied our experience of camp life in the rain- sleeping in a cramped tent on a thin sliver of an air mattress, reveals my avoidance of the"uncomfortable" in life - things that require more energy than I want to give - the unplanned turns, the inconvenient relationships and conversations - what doesn't come with ease and pleasure.

Out of the beauty of our surroundings - out of the misty mountains - out of the dark of the subtle evenings - out of the power of the rushing water of the racing river - the Lord spoke to me about how I  approach life. My approach founded in doing life on my terms - with my expectations - hoping for my pleasure and joy - all with the smallest cost in effort and with the smallest amount of discomfort on my part.

Jesus speaks into this approach to doing life - and says, "Come, follow me", "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness", "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it", "Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

A compelling invitation away from my life of self sufficiency, self dependence, self preservation. These things I am challenged to consider as I continue to pray and ask the Lord what it will look like to continue to follow Jesus. Deep in my heart I know that "clean and comfortable" must be transformed by the Spirit of Christ to more increasingly center on "true" and "trust". Jesus wants to interrupt our approach to life on our terms and offer instead, "Life more abundant".

This never gets old!

A joy "inexpressible" filled my heart as I listened to the video of Allison, a Winthrop exchange student from Australia who was telling her story about how she had come to trust in Christ and the life change that she was experiencing as a result!

This never gets old! Hearing about how Jesus is showing up in students lives is an incredibly compelling motivation for our ministry with Cru that I have served with for over 11 years.

As we finish up the school year Danielle and I are extremely motivated for the coming fall both with the expected birth of Adeline Michelle in early August, and the beginning of the Fall 2013 semester.

Building our ministry partner team and preparing our home and lives for the arrival of our little baby girl will occupy our time, thoughts, and energy through the few months of the Summer.

Thank you for investing in our lives and ministry through your prayers and giving!  It has been quite an exciting first year of marriage (1st anniversary - May 19th) and we are so grateful for the opportunity to be a part of the significant work that the Lord is doing on our campuses!

Grateful,
The Russos

A most significant week!

As students were walking solemnly out of the theatre having just viewed Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ", I was startled to see the tear soaked eyes of Eric, the Sigma Phi Epsilon president that I had invited to the showing.  The year was 2004. The event was a movie outreach at the University of Tennessee. We had packed two theaters with over 500 students, many who were Christians that had invited non Christian friends. Not knowing Eric's spiritual background, I had invited him and given him 10 tickets to bring a few of his fraternity brothers.

Having been a follower of Christ for almost 15 years at the time, I was moved by the stunning depiction of Christ's last hours of life and death on the cross. Yet I was equally struck by how moved this 20 year old student was in response to what he had seen. I'm not sure what all transpired in Eric's heart that night in relation to defining his beliefs, but I knew that he was gripped by the display of Christ's death that the scriptures declare was a demonstration of God's extraordinary love for us. (Romans 5:8)

During the coming week I am compelled to re-read the Gospel accounts of Christ's suffering, death, and Resurrection. I want to take time to marinate on the depth and significance of these events and what they actually mean to and for me.  A great passage to consider this week is Philippians 2; "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a 'servant', being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

This charge is then followed by one of the grandest statements of the victorious reality of the Resurrection. "Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

This Easter season I pray that each of us will reconsider the life changing realities that God in Christ has given to us, as those whom He deeply loves.  May we make much of Him as He has made much of us.

The Power of Perspective

"Something just didn't seem right" I thought to myself sitting at home late last friday night.  I just had some good guy time with men from our church; grilling, inventing smore's with Samoa girlscout cookies, and just catching up on life. Now I was laying in bed acutely aware of how different home is in light of the absence of my wife Danielle.

Danielle had journeyed to Valle Crucis for a women's retreat and I was home alone for the first time since our wedding last May. The house sounded silent as I wrestled to fall asleep. As I lay there, thoughts of my wife's sweet smile and laughter drifted through my mind.  I was missing her. 

"Getting Perspective" is the phrase I think best describes the process taking shape in my mind and heart that night. In my experience of the absence of my wife's presence and personality, I was keenly aware of the significance that her presence and personality play in my enjoyment of life. 

It was great to listen to her voice the next day as she detailed her experience of the retreat. She was particularly struck by the passage from the Friday night talk. "He (Jesus) is the image of the invisible God... For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth... And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together." (Colossians 1) Danielle shared how she longed to live with this perspective of Jesus, more consistently.

An idea behind perspective is seeing things rightly.  Seeing things the way they truly are. An intriguing facet of human nature, is our bent towards taking things for granted. Our tendency to overlook the significance and value of things or people that we know are incredibly significant. I see this as a remaining residue of our depravity and brokenness as humans. Our inability to see things rightly - to see truth.

This morning I woke up to sunshine and the joy of knowing that I will see my wife today. This morning Danielle woke up to sunshine and a growing desire to dwell on the magnificence of Jesus, the creator and sustainer of all things.  Although Danielle and I were miles apart we both had pondered the power of perspective. 

Ice Cold Camaraderie

We were sitting around a table at the beach rental when Jackson, my friends 13 year old son uttered the words I was hoping not to hear; "I want to get in the water." There was a moment of silence and then guys slowly got up to get prepared for the experience that lay ahead.

Nothing unusual about getting in the water any other time of year,  but this was a freezing February night and snow had begun to fall. This was a polar bear plunge rather than a quick dip in the pool. We rounded up for a quick picture as masculine energy filled the air.

Something was stirring in the hearts of this group of men as we walked the short distance to the water. It's somewhat hard to explain but there was a growing sense of camaraderie.  A growing sense of, "we're doing something crazy - together!" 

At water's edge we stripped down and laid out our towels and clothes for a quick retrieval. Then with yells and shouts reminiscent of a scene from "Braveheart", we ran headlong into the water as the icy cold swallowed our shouts and our bodies. 

It was a quick in and quicker out as we hurried to our towels, clothes and warmth. In our fast paced return to the house, we laughed, shared, and celebrated our experience like a team of men who had won a national championship. We had experienced something significant together. In those quickly passing 15 minutes we had bonded in a way that few men do after their college years. 

Men created in God's image, long for connection and camaraderie with other men. This is what gets men involved with soft ball leagues, running groups, and drinking buddies. An experience of camraderie is a significant part of how God grows men in the "grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 3:18)  This is how men grow God shaped lives.

Men will often do together what they wouldn't be motivated to do on their own. That night we saw a glimpse of God's design. We were reminded that we were created for more. More than success, material wealth, and self accomplishment. We were created for God's Glory, for each other, and for Ice Cold Camaraderie. 

A word for married men about Valentine's Day

I would imagine many men will do today what I just did.  I just opened the card I bought my wife for Valentine's Day and began the hard work of thinking through what I wanted to write. Of course in order to write anything I had to take time to think through what I wanted to communicate.

It began somewhat typically, "there are so many things I love about you", "I've loved our first 8 months of marriage", etc.  But as I thought about what I wanted to communicate something unusual happened. I began to remember the things I really appreciate about my wife - the things that first attracted me to her like her sweet laugh and smile and how she can light up a room with her energy - things that I seem to so easily take for granted now that we're married.

I also found myself wondering how it is that just 8 short months into what I pray will be many years of marriage, I could get into the routine of marriage and miss the beauty, significance, and joy that comes from companionship. I get that we get busy and that marriage isn't all about feeling "in love" with our spouses all the time, but I couldn't help but try and examine what was lacking.

I think honestly for me it was simply that I haven't spent much time thinking lately about the things I like about my wife. In the midst of the day in and day out it honestly has been easier to think about the differences in our approach to keeping the house clean or how we approach scheduling our time, etc... When I began to intentionally think about Danielle; who she is, what I appreciate about her, how much more wonderful her presence makes my life,  I realize how much I value her. I realize how significant she is to me.

I think there is a parallel to be seen here as well in our relationship with the Lord. Going through the hustle and bustle of the day - our routine, without an opportunity - even a short 10 to 15 minute opportunity to think about our God - who he is, what I appreciate about Him, how much more wonderful His presence makes my life. I realize how significant He is to me.

For what it's worth - I hope you will make the time to get cozy with your wife this Valentine's Day - to sit and talk with her and enjoy her.  I also hope that maybe this little blurb will encourage you to sit down sometime over the next few days, at coffee shop, out in your backyard, or in your favorite chill spot, and just open the Scriptures and sit and talk with and enjoy the Lord. Here's to the simple yet significant things!

Greater than I

This morning while reading through "A heart for God" by Sinclair Ferguson, I was struck by the story of Moses' encounter with the Living God through a burning bush. In however many moments the experience lasted, I saw a glimpse of what I believe every man is longing for - a divine encounter that bends one's identity and purpose back to a sure foundation - God Himself.

Gods' speaks to Moses; "Come, I will send you to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt."(Ex 3:10)  Moses was shocked, first by how God chose to show up and second because of what God was saying. I imagine Moses had flashbacks to his perceived failure in Egypt that led him to flee to Midian and the distance he must have felt from the Presence and Purpose of the living God.

Ferguson says, "He must have had moments - perhaps many of them - when he felt as though God passed him by...Far from enjoying the sense of God's presence, it is likely he was haunted by a sense of God's absence. His past was marred, his present was insignificant, and his future seemed relatively pointless, given all that God has invested in his life."

Then God shows up! God does the unthinkable in asking Moses to do something beyond his capacity. Moses waivers. God speaks into this inner turmoil and doubt, "He said, 'But I will be with you,'". Moses' inner frailty continues, "If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'what is his name?' what shall I say to them?"

God's response is a sure glimpse into every man's greatest need - An identity and a purpose that is far greater than any one man can fashion for themselves - an identity and purpose grounded in the "Great I am". "God said to Moses, 'I AM WHO I AM.' And he said, 'Say to the people of Israel, I am has send me to you.'"

"Every man dies, but not every man really lives." These words spoken by William Wallace in Braveheart, point to a significant truth when viewed in light of Moses' divine encounter. The men whose lives are lived to the fullest, are those who have discovered, explored, and remembered,  that their identity and their purpose is grounded in the person, character and purposes of the Living God. This man will be one whose life has influence both in the present and in the future.

A Journey

I sat down this morning to begin writing in my journal. I begin with a desire to articulate and create and then slowly came to the conclusion that I don't really know what to write about. A distracted mind led me to lay down the pen and to begin typing away.

Over the last year the Lord has continued to give clarity to my interest in the spiritual journey of a man. I've read books and spent many hours thinking about the uniqueness of the masculine experience while considering what a man's journey with the Lord looks like.

This blog will serve as an avenue of articulating this journey. I'm also considering writing a book on the process and experience of a man's journey with the Lord. Honestly the thought of writing a book strikes both excitement and a sense of weight as I consider the undertaking. The sheer amount of time and discipline it would take are enough to bring pause in considering.

With all the enthusiasm I have for this project I also know myself well enough to know the challenges of my short attention span and the challenge of follow through on the daily discipline of writing.

This morning I finished yet another inspiring "Outside" article on a man's journey ("Around the world in 1,026 days")  to circumnavigate the earth by foot, boat and bicycle, using only his own power. Articles like these surface my desire to do something significant! To create - to work - to build something significant.

I imagine the process of writing will not only create something that God could use to encourage men as they journey on with the Lord, but would well serve as a significant part of that process in my own life.

"Look at that, you can see his heart beating!"  The day was Tuesday January 8th - the setting was the doctor's office - the experience was seeing the first ultrasound of our 9 week old baby. 

Few words can express the wonder and the weight of that experience. A first time father, trying to digest the reality of a little human being carrying my DNA and living in the belly of my wife!

I have seen some breathtaking views of alpine peaks in Switzerland and the bold quiet falls in Yosemite, but no sight has ever stirred the feelings I felt gazing at that little mass of wonder within my wife.

I'm a father. Not I will be a father in August when the baby is born. I am a father! The thoughts of support raising, the days activities and responsibilities, not just faded but vaporized in light of that experience. The significance of life came clearly into focus and I felt a large shift in my identity that is hard to explain.

I no longer existed for the glory and enjoyment of God alone although that is my highest purpose, but I had come to acquire a new and significant identity as a father!

So begins the journey of fatherhood that is pressing me to consider the roots of masculinity found in the truth of the beginning of masculinity; "then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." (Genesis 2:7)